I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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