so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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