I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Green mimosas i think yes
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
