go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
