I wish i was in the wii world.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
