so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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