I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
