Can Purell be used as lube?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
