How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
