He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize