Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
