so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I did not marry a roomba.
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