That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
A+ Viking dick
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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