I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
