Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
