the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
