: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So much Jack, so little girl.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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