so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
