It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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