omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
