ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
