I could have mohawked her pubes.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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