Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
