I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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