She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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