I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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