Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
