I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
