Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
