am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
no you cant smoke seaweed
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
