I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
