I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
