I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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