So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
