i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
