he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
