well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
