Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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