Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He? As in you personified your dick?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
