Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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