this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
