Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
