Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
