i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
