Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I have post one night stand depression
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