Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
