when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Randomize
