i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
