Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
