Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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