ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
