I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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