if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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