it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Enjoy the penises
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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