Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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