covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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