I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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