The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
