My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
